More bad days than good...

My dad's a joker - he loves kidding around. Sometimes it can be more annoying than funny. It's a very sarcastic humour. My mom knows it well - as does my wife who says I exude the same 'annoying' humour as my dad.

He's been asking me to help move some furniture. I grabbed a friend (thanks Gunner!) and headed off to see my dad and move some furniture.

When we arrived, the first thing I did was start bugging my dad about how he wasn't helping us move. "Come on dad! Grab the other side - we'll carry it together!" and "Dad - get off your butt! Help your son out!" I thought it was funny - that was until I approached him afterwards. He's gotten worse.

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When your in a heavy situation like this, its so easy to live in disbelief. You may not think you're living in disbelief. But it sneaks its way in. For myself, I somehow think that next time I see him, he'll have gained more weight - that he'll be less pale and yellow. Then, I'll see him again - worse than before... then it's all happening again. Its like I'm seeing him for the first time.

If you haven't seen my dad lately, you may not understand the severity of his situation. I'll try to post some pictures in the coming days.

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Straight up - I have no idea how my dad is still alive. He sounds so sick and weak every time I call. We last spoke yesterday. He said he has no energy and can barely walk.

My suspicion is that his chest is so full of fluid that its suffocating my dad. My biggest worry is that my dad is putting false hope in the doctors advise that he's fine at home. I don't understand why they've sent him home from the hospital. A - He needs to be supervised. B - He needs another chest-tap to remove ALL (not some) of the fluid around his lungs. Then my dad would at least have a fighting chance.

If that wasn't enough, he's mind has begun to play tricks on him. He admitted that he's been seeing a few things - hallucinations. Its a side-effect of the diuretics he's been prescribed to help managed his fluids.

I really don't want my dad to loose his mind. I can't think of anything more cruel...