I visited dad on Sunday. He called me crying - saying that no one had visited him that day.

When I got there, my dad was in rough shape. Physically, it seems like his Kidney's may be in trouble. And emotionally/spiritually, my dad is fully ready to give up.

I was pretty gong ho when I saw him. I was encouraging him and telling him I'd help take care of him and get him better.

I pulled a nurse aside and asked her some questions about my dad's situation. She gave me some valuable advice and the name/number of a the staff doctor. She suggested I call the staff doctor and address all my concerns about my dad.

Its so frustrating because it seems like random doctors come visit my dad at random times and just treat my dad's symptoms. They don't look at my dad's health as a whole and try to assess him from there. They continue to prescribe the same medications when its obvious they aren't working.

Anyway - I should have called that doctor by now.

I visited dad today. Mom and James were already there. The room was so heavy. Man - it was the most depressing visit yet. It was almost like no-one in the room believed dad was going to make it out of this... at least thats how I felt.

Lord! I don't know what to do! Blast! I'm so frustrated and broken. I gave all I can to help dad... but its not enough! Lord - its not up to me at this point anymore. I've done what I can. And you know what, I'm willing to admit that up until now I believed that earthly medicine would resolve my dad's situation with your guiding hand. But its obvious to me now that we need more than just your guidance - we need your healing power. Lord - I need your miracle working power. I need your crazy-ass, supernatural, unexplainable, Divine, undeserved, healing power.

Lord - literally... you're my only hope. Your my dad's only hope.

Please people - more than ever - pray! I've never seen my dad this sick in the past 12 months he's been sick. I never seen my family this hopeless.

Visit and call my dad! Encourage him. 613 798 5555 x12283. He's room A534, 5th Floor, Ottawa Civic Hospital.

So, here's a rough break down of what I'm going to discuss with the doctor. If anyone out there has any medical ideas/advice, please fire away.

Current meds my dad is on (I don't know the exact drugs):
- pain medication
- anti-rejection drugs (suppressing his immune system)
- anti-depressant (efexor?)

Current Condition:
- fluid only diet
- can't keep food down
- very weak
- very depressed
- all liver levels are fine

Symptoms:
- urine is very dark and far less than his fluid input
- water retention in his legs and abdomen
- pig-tail catheter in his abdomen to drain fluid
- dehydration
- can't keep food down
- diarrhea
- elevated blood pressure

Treatments that haven't worked:
- albumen
- urine catheter