Sunday, November 16, 2008

Fear of the unknown

Its been an interesting weekend.

The assessments last week were intense. When I got back home, I jumped right back into work mode and didn't really digest much of what happened. But the weight of everything really hit Chelsea and I this weekend. Lots of mixed emotions about the situation.

I visited mom and dad on Saturday afternoon. I shared my heart, my fears and my concerns. My poor mom... she is in such a unique position. A husband who will die without a liver transplant and a Son who's an eligible donor (we don't know for sure, yet) who she doesn't want to sacrifice.

It was a great visit - very transparent. We ended it with prayer - so appropriate. I think the bottom line is that we're all scared. My dad is so frightened. Sure we have faith that God will take care of us - but there's still the fear of the unknown... and for me, new experiences.

Anyway... we'll find out more about my eligibility on Tuesday. Until then, nothing is certain.


Dad has an appointment this week (I think Tuesday) to have his abdomen drained of excess fluid. This is great news. This means that my dad isn't making random ER visits like he was in October. He's able to make regular appointments to help manage the symptoms of liver failure. However - today, my dad did admit that he didn't know if he could wait 'till Tuesday as he is in a ton of pain.

1 comment:

Cherylyn said...

Josh, I am so sorry that you and your family have to face such heart-wearying decisions. I pray that God will handle it all for you, taking the weight of decision from you and giving each of you the strength you need. I pray that this experience brings you and Chelsea even closer together than you already are, and that you and your whole family feel the warmth of love around you. You are an awesome man and your transparency is inspiring.