She put a Q-Tip in my bum

Early morning. Woke up at 6am. Got ready and headed to the hospital for 7:30am. There, I met up with Cailin (our transplant coordinator) at the blood lab. I got some final blood tests taken and she personally rushed them over to the lab to go the results ASAP.

Afterward, we started the pre-admission process. It took about 3 hours. First, we met with a nurse who had to take all my vitals. Then, she wanted to take a swab of my nose, armpit, crouch and bum. Reh!??!?!

Those of you who know me well know that I can be a pretty awkward guy. I think in the history of Josh awkwardness, this moment tops them all. After taking both the tongue and the underarm swab, she asked me to remove my pants and underwear. So, I got up and just stood in the middle of the room... slowly unbuttoning my pants as if I were unsure if this was what I was really supposed to do. I pulled my pants down, she did the front swab. Then she asked for my bum. I turned around and gave the pose you see in the picture to the right. Chelsea almost died laughing - but in her heart because she didn't know if I felt violated or not.

The nurse did more of a swipe instead of a swap... double swipe. Only God knows what lives down there, but I guess we'll soon find out.

After that nurse, I met a pharmacist, another nurse (for post-operative care), and then an anesthesiologist. There were some nerve racking moments - but ultimately, it all went well.

Finally, we met back up with Cailin. She walked through a few more things, and allowed us to take a tour of the pre-operative care unit - where I'll be on Monday morning. Did you know that Toronto General's preoperative ward has 22 operating rooms!!?!?! CRAZY! Many surgeries going on at once. The preoperative ward looks a lot like the Ottawa Civic's Observation room... many beds with patients prepped for their surgery.

I was also prescribed an anti-anxiety medication for both Chel and I to take the morning of. I'm not sure if we're going to take it or not, but its nice to know that its an option.

I'm going to be fully awake when they wheel me from the pre-operative care unit to the operating room. I'll see all the crazy people in masks. I'll even be transferred to the cold, thin, metal surgery tray while I'm awake. As soon as I'm in position, the oxygen goes on my face, the anesthetic is injected and then I'll wake, what will seem like, a few minutes later asking, "Did it happen?" and "Hows dad?"

~

I'm most nervous about the pre-op stuff... the iv... the anticipation... seeing the operating room... etc. I just want it all over with already.

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So it's all happening on Monday morning. The only two things that can stop this from happening is A) some technical issue forces a cancellation (ie. the ventilation fans in the OR stop working) or B) Dad receives a deceased liver between now and Monday morning, which is unlikely, but a possibility none-the-less.

So, I'm going to be praying that God finds a deceased liver for dad before Monday. And for an increased awareness of his love and grace in case he can't find one.

~

God, its so obvious now looking back on my life that everything I've gone through with dad, all my experiences, all my desires not to drink/do drugs, has lead to this. And even though I'm so scared, I believe you've given me the preparation I need to do this. And the work you've started in me I know you'll finish.